Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Forgiveness...one day at a time


Today is a new day, been thinking, it's never always that easy to forgive, it truly does take the grace of God especially when you've been hurt by the one thing/person that you thought could never hurt you. It's something one has to take one day at a time and coupled with praying fervently also. So from henceforth, it's one day at a time for me...on the road to forgiveness...

I love this song;





I'm only human; I'm just a man
Help me believe in what I could be and all that I am
Show me the stairway
I have to climb
Lord for my sake
Teach me to take
One day at a time

One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you
Give me the strength to do everything that I have to do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time.

Could you remember
When you walked among men
Jesus, you know when you're looking below
It's worse now than then
Pushin' and shovin' crowd in your mind
Lord for my sake
Teach me to take
One day at a time





FNLP, xoxo

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Happy new year everyone, I wish everyone love, joy and happiness this coming year.

I only have one resolution this year; to go back to a heart of worship because it's all about Jesus really.


This song touches my heart every time, I especially love playing it on my keyboard, so I thought to post the lyrics; beautiful chorus...




                                                 

                                                                 
                                                                     When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring you more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what you have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

Chorus
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
When it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much you deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is yours
Every single breath

Chorus

Monday, 31 December 2012

Day 2...



“Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.”

I love the above quote very much, one of my faves. In the words of my darling Alicia Keys...'Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart, you can try sleeping in my bed'. I'm sorry but this beautiful chica must have had her fair share of heartbreaks to be able to come up with such. Let me tell you what happens when you sleep with a broken heart, or well, what I think happens...

I thought I went to bed just okay last night, I mean of course I was hurting and all with a heavy heart, I tried praying but I just couldn't find the words, so I prayed in my heart and hoped God would still hear my cry for mercy and I immediately remembered another one of my favourite Bible verses Roman 8:26, of course Trust me, English girl at heart, my favourite interpretation of that verse is the English Standard Version and I quote thus 'Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words'. Hmmm depth upon depth. Whooosh!. So I felt reassured that the Lord would hear my heart's cry. 

Anyway back to the issue at hand, I woke up this morning crying, I couldn't believe it, as in literally had hot tears streaming down my pretty face when I opened my eyes. Imagine going to bed normally and waking up with tears, now tell me, if that's not the result of sleeping with a broken heart, then what is? What could possibly beat that?

Its New Year's Eve, its been a really crazy 2012 for me, in fact the way January 2012 dealt with me, it's just the grace of God really. Let's just say I started the year on a really rough note and scary thing is that it all came as a huge shock. I had prayed and fasted fervently in December 2011 for my life to have a fresh new start in 2012, only for January 2012 to arrive with a huge shock. #ShockOfLife as you twitterites like to coin stuff. It's like the devil knows when one is trying to put in an effort and then that's when the mongrel decides to strike. But anyway, that's his job, his job is to 'kill, steal and destroy' so my Bible tells me. It was a tough time for me, my family was far away, I was fresh outta Uni, had moved to a new city, had a new job, new environment and it was tough but the Holy Spirit kept me. I've always been used to living alone anyway, been living alone since I was 17 and I thank God my Parents 'dumped' me all alone in Cambridge at that young age. It built me. #Grateful

...but God has come to give life and to give it more abundantly and I'm thankful for 2012 because it has made me who I am today and I have learned from my mistakes which is why I know my 2013 will be amazeballs. This coming year is definitely my year, I can feel it already, God has not even started with me yet. My cousin once tweeted 'you GROW through what you GO through'. Bless his heart. Honestly, I have grown through and from, what I have gone through.

So I pray...
-That this 2013, my dream job will locate me and I can finally start building and focusing on my legal career. No more 'in the meantime' jobs. Amen.
-That I will become a stronger and wellrounded individual emotionally. Amen.
-That I will have better and healthier relationships; a man that would love, honour and PROTECT me because for me, love = protection; someone that will treat me like his own daughter and would never ever want to see me cry because my tears could break his heart; and most importantly, someone that I would be happy to love in return just the same; no holding back. Amen.
-That I will flee from all temptation and all manner of sin and seek God's Kingdom first because that is in actual fact, the best foundation to have. Every other thing will be added. Amen.

Wish you guys a prosperous new year ahead.

FNLP, xoxo

DeCeMbEr 30...the day I lost my pride...

Today was awesomely terrible, in all my twenty something odd years on this earth, never have I felt so humiliated and worthless before. Every bit of me just wants to scream, and then scream some more. I watched myself reduce myself to poop because of a man, a man I promised to love and cherish for the rest of my days, the first man I ever introduced to my Father, I remember looking into my Father's eyes and saying 'yes Dad he is definitely The One' so as I write this, I ask myself  Where did it all go wrong?

I have a lot going on in my life right now, it's funny how it's the one person that you expect to understand and just get you, that ends up being the one to tear you down and tear your world apart. I think the last time I felt this exact same way was when I was in Law School (08/09) and then, it was a really abusive relationship, in every way. Three/four years down the line, I'm beating myself up for allowing myself to relive such a moment. I used to be so damn strong, I have this scrapbook (in this part of the world, some of us call it the 'sign-out book' lol) from secondary school (I think I was about 15/16) and in it, my best friend then, mentioned that one of the reasons why she loved and admired me so much was how I dealt with and handled the opposite sex and that she wished she had my kind of emotional strength. Deep. Fast-forward to ten years later, What.A.Shame. Check this; this same best friend now does not understand how and why I have become such a 'weakling'.*Le sigh*.

I think over the years, due to a few pieces of advice here and there and in a bid to calm down, I relaxed a little and became erm, softer? Is that the word? Point of correction, I think I let it go way too far and somehow, it turned into weakness. Then, I was what the Yorubas would call "o le l'omo" (it means a 'hard child' or 'hard-hearted child' or something like that), I heard that phrase way too many times as a teen.

I'm a lawyer and a writer so I tend to read a whole lot. I read somewhere online that there are different kinds of tears. Furthermore, I also read that, and I quote 'after a woman cries, she has cleansed her soul and is now ready to take action, the infinite power within her kicks in and nothing can stop her decision to move on'. Okay here's the tricky bit, the writer goes further to explain that if the woman has a high self-esteem or is spiritual, the confidence to move on would flow naturally but if the reverse were the case, she would need some sort of support system, it could be counselling, to remind her of her power as a woman and that she is worthy to be. Hmmm very interesting article if I say so myself.

Okay, moving on. . .I will always say this, I miss the support system I had back when I was in University in England. Honestly, it was truly amazing and the best ever. From the Personal Tutors to the Lecturers to the Doctors to the Counsellors, amazeballs! In a weird way, up till today, I still believe my support system then, was what contributed to my ability to eventually make a 2:1 in my LLB and then go on to make a Merit in my LLM. Never EVER underestimate the powers of a good support system. It works wonders. I.Kid.You.Not

I am Woman. Pain is temporary. I love my Bible...'weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning'. I'm thankful for everything I'm dealing with and for the very reason that, as a result, I know my girl-child will not suffer. Ultimately, I will teach her to learn from these experiences. Lucky lucky girl.

So here's to December 30th my anniversary, the day I lost my pride, you are just one day to me by the special grace of God...joy always comes in the morning. 


FNLP, xoxo

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

BROGUES,FLATS...SUMMER’S LIKE SOOO YESTERDAY!

    It’s that time of the year again, time to do away with flip-flops, tank tops, nudity and any other ‘summerish’ items of clothing and footwear. I’d always wanted to invest in a pair of Brogues but I just never came around to it really. Okay truth is I honestly couldn’t be bothered, see I’m the kind of person that would go to lectures in her jammies (well, something close to that.lol) or run down to the corner store with her bendy rollers still stuck in her hair…anyway you get my point…

So, in the process of upgrading my wardrobe to accommodate the new rubbishy weather, I thought I’d invest in a pair. I’ve been seeing the Brogue thingies around lately and I used to think they were ugly but lo and behold!, they really are comfy….*winks*

Did you know that Brogues, originally from Scotland and Ireland, were strictly meant for outdoor and country walking back in the early twentieth century? Back then, it was considered inappropriate for social or business occasions. They were originally made from untanned leather with holes at the sides to drain water when the wearer walked along wet surfaces etc yadi yadi ya! (Me and my research skills,ha!) Fast-forward a million and a half years later, it’s now a must-have item (or something). You can rock em anywhere, even to work, wherever really…you dig?
Don’t you just love how fashion can be so old and yet so new at the same time… fantastic!
So, wrap up guys, and be comfy!
And here’s how I plan to do just that…

                                                  Brogues - Peacocks
                                                  Leather Look Ballet Pumps - boohoo.com
                                                 

Later y'all,
FNLP xoxo

Sunday, 4 September 2011

#BEYDAY!!!


   Okay I feel this is totally necessary and just for the sake of it. Yes because she really is that special and I absofrigginlutely adore her style!!!. The beautiful and very talented Beyonce turns 30 today and with a baby (hopefully a girl…hehe) on the way, what better way to turn 30 really, no?
    She has definitely come a long way and she has achieved a whole lot in every sense. Jigga’s definitely one lucky dude. 





So here’s to my darling Bey,the number one DIVA!…LIFE BEGINS AT 30…YOU KNOW THIS!!!



 Even with a baby on the way...Gorgeous!!!
DIVA!!!


Later y’all….FNLP,xoxo

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

J is for Jollof Rice!!!


so, you know how they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? Lol. Well, me I don’t believe that BS though. If a man wants to misbehave, he will surely misbehave. You get me? Anyway, moving on…

But just to be on the safe side, I’ve been making an effort to learn how to cook better. We learn new things everyday trust me. oF course I can cook up a storm in the kitchen and I actually do love cooking but dealing with a Masters in Law is not as easy as it sounds so I actually have no time whatsoever; I mean, I could live on Indomie for a month just beacause of my very hectic schedule.Up until a few months back, I always thought making jollof rice was rather very long and complicated because what I’ve seen most people do is that they start off as if they are making stew, I think they let it cook for a bit and then they also sort of half cook the rice and then put it in the stew and let it all cook together. So basically you end up cooking with two different pots.This is what most people do yeh? Correct me if I’m wrong. So because of this ‘longness’, I always just stick to my fried rice. Less complicated. with fried rice, once you have rice and mixed vegetables, you are good to go!

so recently I was hanging out with my older cousin and it was lunchtime and she announced that she was going to be making jollof rice so i decided to hang out with her in the kitchen while she made it. At first, what I noticed was that she started off as if she was cooking plain white rice and I couldn’t see any other pot of stew or pepper in sight and she made it look oh so so easy. I was totally amazed. What she basically did was she started cooking the rice, and then after about 15mins, she put some tomato puree (I asked her what this was for and she said that it is basically what gives the jollof rice its colour) and then she seasoned as usual with the basics, onions, thyme, curry, pepper, knorr cubes.) and her final step was adding some chopped tomato plum  and she let it all cook together. In one pot!

Hmm so I tried her method today and wanted to see if it was easy for real, first step is to start off as if you just want to make your plain ol’ white rice,






After it has cooked for about 15minutes, add some tomato puree, just enough to make the rice slightly change colour,(please forgive my silly camera for this halfpicture)






And this is where you season it, I usually don’t use much, just salt, onions, knorr cubes, thyme, curry, paprika, cinnamon and some dry pepper. And that’s about it really,




Allow it cook for another 10-15minnutes or so, and then add some chopped tomato plum. Don’t add too much though, I didn’t even use up to half of the can!,






And then I let the rice cook till it was done. Towards the end, I added some frozen mixed vegetables. (this is up to you, I only used about a handful of frozen mixed vegetables, just to make the rice look nicer really),



When its cooked, it should look something like this….,



So there you have it…easy peazy Jollof rice. All in one pot!!!. Oh, and served with some nice home made coleslaw and grilled chicken wings. please does this mean I'm now ready to move into my husband's house? na so!lol

feel free to share if you know easier ways of making J-rice!

*oh boy, I really do need to invest in a good camera!!!*


Later y'all,
FNLP, xoxo


p.s: why do some people pronounce it as 'jellof rice'?o_o, and also is it just me that finds it difficult to cook in a dirty kitchen? When my friends come around, they can't understand why my kitchen tops/table tops are always so empty and it looks as though no-one's ever cooked in there, I think it's just me with the problem...hmmm









Tuesday, 23 August 2011

“I LOVE YOU BABY, YOU COMPLETE ME”…HUH?



Hey guys, just a little something I thought I’d share, it totally baffles me when I sometimes hear people say those three words ‘you complete me’ and then suddenly, the impression I get is that perhaps for some reason or the other, before they met their partner, they were incomplete?. I think this in itself says a lot about ones self-esteem. Personally, I strongly believe one must be whole and happy within and even without, before going into a relationship. It is essential to have that self-fulfilment and total self-love beforehand because if you don’t, how else do you expect to take care of another or even give love to another?
It should not be someone else’s duty to complete you, you alone should complete you, and then you become fully equipped to handle and attract the good kind of love from the right person who will then complement you. I come from a society that places way too much emphasis on relationships without even taking time out to consider the possibility that the person may just not be ready to take on such responsibility simply because they are not complete within themselves first. Everybody’s time is different. As a result of the pressure, people then go into relationships hoping that their partners can in some way fill the void, make them happy and ultimately complete them. This is where the problem lies and this is why most relationships fail.

A good and healthy relationship should be between two independent people coming together because they love each other and not a case of one person depending or relying on another for happiness. When one is unnecessarily dependent and relies on another for happiness, you become a burden for the ‘stronger’ person in the relationship and then when push comes to shove, you eventually find yourself dragging your partner down along with you and it all comes crashing. And then of course you become even more incomplete than when you first started out. And then the ugly part is you are back to looking for another person to complete you. It’s a terrible vicious cycle really. Trust me, I have been there before. Not pretty.

So let us eliminate the myopic views and look beyond the pressure by looking more within, if you were to meet you, would you be happy to date you? Before you can be successful in love, you need to be successful in love with yourself first. Take time out to figure out you first and do things for yourself first and then when you finally meet ‘The one’, you can then say… “Baby I love you, you complement me”

Later y’all, 
FNLP xoxo

BRAND NEW, BRAND NEW…



I can’t remember where I heard that song from or who sang it, was it Kanye or someone? Anyway as you lot can see, it is my first blog entry and this is not necessarily a proper blog post but more like an introduction. Well it might turn out to be less than an introduction but I feel like I need to do a post that lets you know that it’s my first post, lol. I think that’s what most bloggers do right? Correct me if I’m wrong. Me and my workaholic self, typing away into the night because its 2am and I also have some other official piece of research work I need to hand in very soon, so this is probably the best time for me to do this…

I started reading blogs only very recently and I have a few that I’m quite fond of and then of course there are some that are just really very totally unnecessary that you almost start to think ‘so did they force this one to blog?’ and then there are the ones that don’t even make sense and all you can think is ‘wait…huh…what the actual f**k???!’ (And no I shall not be naming names on here). But then again, I am totally in support of the freedom of expression and all that stuff so really it’s a free world and everyone should be free, free to talk, free to write, free to love whoever they want to love and whenever they want to love, free to wear whatever they want or not to wear anything at all, just totally free free free!!!

So, moving on…brace yourselves, what I’m about to say is actually really very deep and I just don’t know how to say it or where to start from because it’s just too deep as in, how do I say this really, okay let me try…*deep breath*….okay here goes….

Welcome to my blog y’all! (And no, sorry I can’t tell you my name.)